hi all,
I think I am going to stretch your understanding on this one. It is about other people's attitudes to loss.
Right after I lost my child I think I was more understanding of others on this. After all, it is hard for others as well.
But now I am not so sure I can forgive others. Specially not the immediate family.
If I am feeling particularly sad, then someone will always pop with some sort of "consolation" such as: I have a friend/sister/brother/acquaintance that lost a child and they are fine now and at least you enter pregnancy easily, you can have another one!
It makes me very angry that someone will quantify the loss of someone loved this way. Do I have to be "happy" for my lot because other people have it harder, even when talking about something as devastating and absolute as the loss of a child?
When an adult dies, does someone come and say, oh, you will be ok, I know someone who lost both his grandmothers and he is fine now, and see, you lost only one...
I am really really tired of being expected to act as if nothing had happened. I am pregnant again now, as someone of you may have noted from other messages of mine.
And I can tell you it does not help in the least! (not that I expected it to help).
I have grown accostumed to weep in private since it saves me to hear one of these "maxims".
My pain does not lessen and I feel very alone.
Thanks,
tatah
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